Dirge

School bully, bad influence, and all around bad guy. That is how one describes Dirge. Dirge's full name is Sheryll Franklin Dirge, but what kind of name is Sheryll for somebody like him?! To escape humiliation, Dirge goes by his last name and dresses...well, the way he dresses.

Dirge playing "Space Invaders".

To Dirge, losing is not an option. Nobody beats Dirge; NOBODY! Well...except this arcade machine.

Tan naked...

Ah, yes...Dirge is attempting to tan...and not doing a very good job. His sun deprived skin isn't taking this abrupt change so well. Now he's trying to protect his *ahem* sensitive areas, and making Orange Cat angry in the process...

Dirge with Sheena.

Here is Dirge and the love of his life (or at least for that issue), Sheena. At first he likes her, but she doesn't like him. Then she gets dumped by her jock of a boyfriend and turns to Dirge. After dating, they decide that they were better off the way they already were...It's complicated. Anyway, right now they like each other.

Baby Dirge!

If you're new to this site, then you've yet to see Li'l Dirge. He's further down the page. If you're familiar with the site though, then you are now seeing the only thing cuter than Li'l Dirge, and that is Baby Dirge! CUTE isn't he? Sorry for it being so crumpled...my brother nearly destroyed it while wrestling!

McPhee beating Dirge.

As lions do in the wild, the position of school bully can only be entitled to one person. Thus, Dirge kept this position until the stronger male came along and challenged him. As you can see, he's no longer entitled to be school bully. He'll find a way back though, don't you worry about that.

Dirge may look tough, but he really likes kitties...

Dirge has come forth to spread a very important message. That message is never to hurt kitties. He has even threatened to cry if you don't listen. You don't wanna make him cry do you?

The coolest picture of Dirge I've ever drawn.

This is the COOLEST picture of Dirge I've got! Really, check out that belt. It's based of the cover of a Motley Crue album. It took me forever to get it right. This is also the first picture I drew of Dirge shirtless. Pretty cool, huh?

Li'l Dirge.

Aw, now isn't that the cutest thing you ever saw? Maybe Dirge gets in trouble a lot now, but when he was little like this, who could get mad at that mischevious little face?

The Dirge Tum Tugger is a curious punk...

I'm not sure if patrons of this site are familiar with the musical "Cats", but if you are, then you'll recognize the costume that Dirge is wearing. For those who don't know, he's wearing the Rum Tum Tugger costume. The Rum Tum Tugger is sort of the Elvis-Gene Simmons of the cat world. It just sorta screamed Dirge.

Dirge's thoughts on algebra class...

You can always count on Dirge to not participate in class...I showed this to my algebra teacher (by accident. It just happened to be in the pile of my drawings he was looking at), and he thought that it was quite funny. It's a good thing I quit drawing in class...

Dirge being wedgied by the little girl next door.

Only one person can out-wit Dirge. That one person is the little girl next door, or as Dirge calls her "that little next-door-neighbor girl". She's even slick enough to give Dirge himself a wedgie and get away with it. As you can see, Dirge isn't too proud of that...

Dirge payin' tribute to The Ramones.

Dirge's favourite band is The Ramones, and here he is singing their song "I Wanna Be Sedated". I'm not quite sure how good of a singer Dirge is, but let's hope he's not too bad...

Dirge taking some lines from Alice Cooper

Dirge is saying a line from Alice Cooper's "Feed My Frankenstein". I can't help but think of Dirge when I listen to that part, so I drew a picture of it.

"I'll give 'em a good home!"

Dirge loves kitties. When he finds a box of free kittens on the street, that's all there is to it. They're goin' home with him!

A cold AND a nose piercing?

As I am not a cool kid, I do not have (nor ever will have) a nose piercing. I do think, however, that it must be hard to have a horrible, sneezy cold with a nose piercing (and a rather large one in Dirge's case) in the way.
Yes...I know. "100% snot free" tissues, "Vitamin C! Orange Juice, Yeah!"...and Dirge is pretty much naked. You can't say that when you're sick, you don't wanna just get as naked as possible and sleep all day though, can you?

Standing up straight is for squares!

Yeah...I'm pretty sure "osteoporosis" is spelled wrong, and continues to be spelled wrong. If I ever learn how to spell it, I'll probably forget to fix it anyway, so I'm not gonna worry about it. Anyway, Dirge is teaching us that bad posture is cool, so old ladies are fly too.
Fun Fact: I drew Dirge by himself at first. Boredom made me add the old lady and the dialogue...

For Dirge's Fan Girls...

Don't let him fool you...he's never played a guitar in his entire life.
On another note: ignore his crappy left hand and foot.
Hee, hee. I snuck Stinky in there to keep Dirge's ego down...
Uh-oh. I just noticed that I left some strings offa that guitar...

Neko Dirge

This is Dirge as a neko (a person with cat features such as a tail, ears, etc. but is not a "cat person" or anthro). Don't get used to this because Dirge will be back to his normal self in the next picture of him that I draw. I just drew this because everyone needs a neko apparently...

Smokin' in the Boys' Room!

Yeah, just a little drawing based off of the Motley Crue song of the same title. Ah, Dirge! Such a dirty habit...Luckily, he hardly smokes at all. Just every once in a blue moon.

Gender Bent Dirge!

Had Dirge been born female, this is what he would've looked like...Suprisingly, Dirge makes a fairly decent woman...

Dirge rockin' out.

Dirge is just rockin' out and having fun. I drew his legs a little stubby, but his crazy enthusiasm makes up for it.

Dirge fighting zombies...using only poptarts.

This is a piece of history here! This is the first time I have ever fit twenty-one (go ahead and count them if you want) people (zombies count, of course) onto one piece of paper! Oh, just in case you don't get what's going on in the picture, Dirge is fighting off twenty zombies using only a couple boxes full of pop tarts. Go ahead and laugh! Pop tarts ARE the ultimate zombie-bashing weapon!

Dirge and Orange Cat

This is Dirge's beloved pet, Orange Cat. I realize that this drawing isn't in colour, so I'll inform you; yes, he is an orange cat. This is one of the few...er...well, the ONLY picture I have where Dirge is truly smiling out of happiness and not mischief.

Dirge's back tattoos.

If you look at the coolest picture of Dirge I've ever drawn, you'll notice this is the back veiw of that picture. Anyway, Dirge is showin' off his back tattoos. Hey, if I were daring enough to get a tattoo that big, I'd show it off too.

Dirge feelin' cool.

I don't really have a lot to put about this drawing...Pretty much it's Dirge having fun.

"Don't probe me!"

Dirge getting abducted by aliens? Yes, that it is. This would never actually happen in the comic. I was just bored and it turned out better than I expected. The space-ship sucks along with Dirge's ugly, square hands, but you have to admit, the rest is pretty cool. Oh, and don't mind that caption...Dirge would never be probed. I don't draw that kinda stuff...

Dirge sleeping in class.

To Dirge, the words "class time" means "nap time". Unfortunately, to the teacher the action "sleeping in class" is more like "beat the brat with a ruler". I like the fact that a tough-guy like Dirge is dreaming about sacraficing himself for kittens...

"Go ahead, ask him to tell scary stories..."

Dirge is constanly annoyed by the little next-door-neighbor girl, so he's trying to scare her off with a scary story. Unfortunately, God did not give Dirge the talent of story-telling, and she's far from being scared...Of course, she's proably at least weirded-out.

Dirge and his friend, The Dude, as preteens.

This is Dirge as a preteen. Along side him is his bestest friend commonly known as "The Dude". Preteen Dirge is becoming a man and getting armpit hair, and feels pretty cool showin' it off. I guess he'd have more bragging rights if it were more than stubbles...

Crack Kills

I don't really draw a whole lot of back views of Dirge, but everyone always comments on his crack showing when I do. I have Dirge making a statement in his defense.

Who's Babysitting Who?

As punishment for acting up in school, Dirge's mom has forced him to watch the little next-door-neighbor girl. Unfortunately, Dirge is not the best baby-sitter. As you can see, she's attempting to make Dirge play with her...and failing miserably...

Four Sets...

I was laying in my bed with my cat Simon when he rolled over and wanted me to rub his belly. When I did, I noticed that cats have four sets of nipples. So then I said, "Simon, if you were to pierce your nipples, you'd need four sets!"
Sick, I know, but it made me draw THIS! It is the most awesome picture that I have produced in a while, because this is the first time I drew anyone laying like that successfully! Huzzah!

Chicken Pox! Gaaaahhh!!!!

Poor Dirge! He's plagued with chicken pox! I got these things when I was, like, seven, and I'll have you know, they REALLY suck! Too bad for Dirge I was bored and decided to ruin his life with them too...

The return of Neko Dirge

Yeah...I lied. Yet again, I have drawn neko Dirge. That's only because this cute little scene came to mind and I had to draw it. ^_^ Anyway, the little kid pulling his tail is a toddler version of the little next-door-neighbor girl. It doesn't make any sense, for Dirge is still his present-day self, but it is cute all the same. What's it matter anyway? Dirge isn't always a neko either...Poor Dirge.

Dirge is having a bad day...

...he has a pebble in his boot and it's tied too tight for him to get it out. Yeah, I sorta stold the idea from "Ed, Edd, and Eddy", but it not a total copy, cuz his shoes could be undone easily!

The song on this page is "Fight For Your Right" as performed by The Beastie Boys.